About once every turn of the season, Ashley gets (what we’ll call) a little “Faith Itch”. I don’t know why she does it but she does and she’s done it ever since I’ve known her. For whatever reason, God has wired her to ask questions and when I say “ask questions”, I’m not talking about the occasional who’s, what’s, when’s and where’s of life – you know, the surface level stuff. No, these types of things rarely (if ever) find their way in to her deeper conversations. Ashley, quite simply, wants to know the why’s and the how’s. I mean, when I say she asks questions, I mean the girl ASKS QUESTIONS!
I’ll be the first to admit…
…it can be incredibly annoying.
I have no issue with answering questions but I do find it mildly troublesome to have to go in to every little detail about why I feel a certain way and how I made this or that decision. Or about how I did something and why I chose to do it that way (especially in matters of home improvement). Or being asked to regurgitate every word, verbatim, of an hour long conversation that I had with someone last week when I could barely remember to brush my teeth this morning. I mean, it’s enough to drive a man to thinking.
Hey, it’s not just me. On occasion, she recants memories of a childhood where she’d challenge her mother on the purpose of performing some menial task. I can also remember how frustrated one of her ex-bosses would get when she’d ask for a full explanation as to why something was being done a certain way (rather than just doing it). Neither of these conversations ever went well for her – but she continued to push forward… errrr, maybe push back. Her resistance was often met with increased counter-resistance which I’m sure she found odd since she was never unwilling to perform a task – she just HAD to know why she was doing it. Short of the fact that it makes conversations MUCH more lengthy, it can also be construed by authority-type figures as a form of disrespect (an issue that she’s never denied).
Of course, like clockwork, this past December, it came to pass that Ashley’s faith rash returned and it started itching like mad. It brought along with it the same series of questions that have surfaced several times a year, for the past several years. To be quite honest, they were questions that I’ve always felt ill equipped to answer. They all basically centered around the sovereignty of God, man’s free will, predestination and (of course) how it all danced together so beautifully – that is, IF they did in fact dance beautifully. As a bonus, she threw in a little “why pray when all is predestined” question just for some extra icing on the cake.
These certainly are hot topics, both within and outside of the Christian community aren’t they?
So, there I was. My wife practically begging me for spiritual nourishment, seeking answers to seemingly elementary questions that even the most theologically studied might struggle with clearly articulating and in the very moment that she sought some semblance of wisdom from me – I reeled off the most rehearsed lines of Christian speak imaginable.
“Some things you just have to chalk up to faith”, I told her.
Traditionally, this has been my greatest line of defense when spiritual talk gets a little too heady or dares to go deep because a) it is undeniably true and b) a failure to use it would expose the greater reality – which is the fact that I have done a poor job in exploring God’s Word and knowing Him more deeply.
This time, she pushed back. Crap, she’s never done that before, what else could I say?
“Well honey, I don’t know. I guess we’ll just find out when we get there, then we can ask God,” I offered, just waiting to see if she would push again (and secretly hoping that she wouldn’t).
She did.
My responses were as founded as my short list of good deeds and accomplishments will be on judgment day. They were merely wooden shields that I used to stave off the bullets of Truth, to allow me to continue to live a life that was fat, lazy and utterly devoid of any pursuit of God.
My wife was thirsty, practically on her knees begging me for a drink and all I did was hand her an empty glass. What man wouldn’t want that from his wife? What wife would want that from her man?
But, it was in her persistence for answers that something truly beautiful came from it.
Together, we started reading research from some known theologians and discovered some very compelling, rock-solid, biblically-based beliefs from some very strong Christian figures of our day – many who have drawn their influence from highly regarded Biblical scholars from the past. We quizzed our friends and family, often finding that their beliefs paralleled what we had believed. We’d read and read and discuss with each other – it has been an incredibly beautiful time in our marriage.
Saving details for a later day, what has since surfaced is a profound shift in our view of God and who He is, His sovereignty, predestination, salvation and prayer. It has completely changed the way I read the Bible, how I had viewed and now view God, how I pray and how often I do it and a whole chest of other treasures. What’s interesting is that while we’ve discovered answers to a lot of the foundational questions that we had, more and more questions have surfaced – opening up more doorways for discovery.
Since she makes sport of asking questions, I think Ashley loves that part of it.
Until next time…
Around 4 months we decided to start her on baby food. She was a champ from day one. Everything I fixed her she ate. Her favorite hands down were sweet potatoes, and of course making a huge mess!
One of Annabelle’s best friends is little Copeland. One day when we were all hanging out they decided to show us just how much they like each other.
Annabelle also went on her first big road trip to Arkansas for Thanksgiving. She did great driving up there even though she had her very first cold. Once we got there she loved seeing everyone and was very entertained by all the kids. She was going through a small stage of stranger anxiety so Sam and I had to hold her most of time.
Around 41/2 months she started getting her first two bottom teeth. She also started rolling over from back to front. The only thing is she couldn’t figure out how to roll back over( and she hated being on her stomach) so I would wake up about 10 times a night to flip her back over. It is also around this time that Sam swears she said Dada. Now I did hear it, but then it didn’t happen again for a few months.
